The Narrows Escape epilogue

Most people don't realize that early versions of the Narrows Escape had an epilogue. At some point in the last ten years, I removed it. I can't remember the reasons why, but it was one of the many revisions that I've made to the book. In any case, I saved it in my "DTB clips" file (which is actually longer than the current novel), and decided to share it with you now:

Epilogue

September 1983

Brady sat in his English class on the first day of Junior High, listening to the teacher go over the class rules. But instead of going over them all period like some of the teachers had done, she reserved the last fifteen minutes to give them their first homework assignment.

“I want you to write a two-page essay on your summer vacations,” she said. “You can devote both pages to one event, or talk about the summer as a whole.”

Everyone groaned, but she continued to detail the specifics of the assignment, and answer questions from those conscientious students who needed to hear the same thing three times just to make sure they got it right.

But while most of the students were loudly complaining about the essay, Brady started getting excited. He had recorded the details of the Narrows hike in his journal upon returning home. But this would be an opportunity to actually write it in story form. And whereas all his stories to present had been created by his imagination, this one was real! It was one of those life-changing events and needed to be recorded in the annals of DTB history for his kids and grandkids to enjoy someday. The hard part was going to be keeping it to two pages.

Brady sat down with his journal and reread what he’d written about the trip. He had been worried that his fear of water would make his cousins think he was a wimp and alienate him from the club. But the whole experience had strengthened club unity more than anything they’d ever experienced. By putting others’ needs before their own, they’d survived what could have been a disaster!

It took a while for Brady to decide on a starting point; but once he did, the words seemed to flow onto the page. He couldn’t stop after two pages, and extended it to five. Even then he couldn’t give many details of the adventure. He had to stick just to the facts.

##

When Brady got his paper back, he was pleased with the “A,” but not surprised. The paper had been some of the best work of his life. At the end, the teacher had added a note: “P.S. Is this true? Wow! I’m impressed. You might want to consider fleshing it out and rewriting it as a full length novel.”

That’s a good idea, thought Brady. He went to his desk drawer and pulled out the hidden folder that contained all his DTB memorabilia – his top secret ID card and several coded letters from his cousins. Underneath was a worn notebook containing the DTB mystery book they’d actually completed – The Case of the Sneaky Robber. He thumbed through it a bit, wondering when he’d get it published.

Then he remembered that the Dodgers’ game had already started. He quickly stuck his English paper inside the folder with his other DTB stuff. Someday he’d write it into a novel, he decided. He stuck the folder back in the drawer to wait until that “someday” arrived.

Narrows plots and subplots

Several people have asked me about how I came up with the plots for the Narrows Escape. Obviously, the hike itself came from my personal experience 20 years ago. It was easily the scariest experience of my life, which made it a natural starting point for the DTB Cousins series. Since it occured when we were adults, I had to move it up almost a decade to start the series at the point where I wanted it to begin. As I did some background research on the summer of 1983, I realized that it was one of the worst flood years in the history of Utah, which inspired my prologue with the mudslide destroying Devin's family's home.
With the main conflict of Man vs. Nature established, I started looking for subplots that each of the DTBs could face. This was essential since I didn't just want to write exciting adventure books; I wanted to teach values that I've learned from my own life's experiences.
Devin's rivalry with Shane developed slowly over several early drafts of the book. In real life, my cousin Darin always seemed to get along with his brothers, at least from my long-distance observations. Yet, I know from my own experiences how competitive brothers can be, so I decided to make that Devin's main struggle - since he was the one with a brother close in age. By building up that rivalry over the course of the book, I was able to make it's resolution one of the key values taught by the book: that no matter how conflicted we feel towards one of our family members, we need to love them unconditionally.
Trey's conflict was struggling to fit in. In creating my character bios, Trey's interests varied more than the other two, so I thought it would be interesting to see how it would affect the club dynamics if he felt isolated from his cousins during the one time of year when the three of them got to spend together. Therefore I used an injury to accomplish that. Although it didn't cause any real rifts between the cousins, it did allow me to develop and differentiate my characters more. It also created some additional tension during the hike, and allowed me to split the DTBs up leading up to the climax. The subtle message here is that it is okay for best friends to be different, and pursue unique interests independent of their best friends. We'll see how this theme continues to affect the DTBs over the course of the series.
Brady's main conflict is dealing with his fear of water on a hike where he is forced to confront it constantly. Phobias are real, and can seriously cripple someone emotionally if they allow the fear to reign supreme. One of my grandmothers had clausterphobia, and I once had the occasion to observe her confront it directly on a trip back East. As we were climbing the Statue of Liberty, she started to feel panicked in the tight stairwell. She realized however that she couldn't allow her fear to overcome her, for her own safety as well as that of her grandchildren who were crowded around her. As I heard her evaluate this experience after the fact, I was impressed by the power of her inner struggle and how she dealt with it in this critical situation. When having Brady confront his fear, I originally had him rescue a family member. However, I thought it might be even more powerful if he had to overcome his fear in order to rescue a total stranger, particularly one who might pose a threat.
The other main plot line deals with the mystery surrounding the bank robbers. This was the last major subplot to be added to the book. After years of rejection letters, I decided that my book needed something more, particularly at the end to keep the conflict going to the very end. I decided that adding a mystery might be the best way to accomplish that. Using bank robbers allowed me to tie this book in with the DTB books we wrote as kids.
There may be other minor subplots, but these are the major plot lines I tried to develop. I hope that the end result is both a fun read and provides some food for thought.
Brad Allred

My journal entry from the actual Narrows flash flood

Today is the 20th anniversary of the real flash flood that inspired the novel the Narrows Escape. Here is the first hand account I wrote of the event upon my returning home:

Narrows Journal entry (8/11/92 – 8/12/92):

“Well, we just got back from the Virgin Narrows trip. It was fun & exciting. The Lord was really looking out for us. On the first day we were about halfway to the campsites when a flash flood came. It is miraculous that nobody was killed or injured. We had just finished eating lunch and had gone around a bend when something told Trevor to check the lunch spot again. He saw a giant flash flood and warned us with enough time to get up on high ground. It was amazing timing. We would have at least lost lots of gear if we had been at the lunch area when it hit, if not been injured or killed. It was supposed to be safe, but that flood was real. It was a 4-5 foot wall of water full of timber and trees. I'm talking about giant full-grown trees. Anyways, we were lucky. After a 3 hr. delay we made camp in a nice spot we found and headed out early in the morning. We hiked fast and got out at 4:10. The hike was beautiful and I'm glad we went. I got caught in quicksand Day #2, but got out with Dad & Troy's help. We ate at Larsen's Frost Top in St. George and saw Uncle Stan there. That was a surprise. The “Eight who Dared” were: Dad, Greg, Troy, Uncle Merlin, Uncle Randy, Trevor, Barry, & I.”  - Brad Allred

                                                                  Quicksand surviver

Profile for Brady Allred

Brady Darrell Allred

Novel: The Narrows Escape Time & Setting: Summer 1983

Birth date/place: August 3, 1971; Glendora, CA

Married: not yet

Homes: Northland, CA (since 1971)

Hair: bright blond Eyes: yellowish-green Facial: round

Weight: Height: Build: short, stout Skin tone: very fair

Unique Physical Characteristic: looks younger than he is “baby-faced”; ambidextrous; always wears a baseball cap (Dodgers)

General Health: good; has bad allergies in springtime

Positive traits: good hand-eye coordination, above average musician (but only average interest), imaginative, good deductive reasoning, good in school (but doesn't apply himself fully), out-going with family, courteous & respectful, good sportsmanship, loyal

Negative traits: self-conscious, easily embarrassed (particularly around girls), reserved in large groups, naive, overly competitive, prideful, fear of deep water (dislikes swimming & other water sports), impatient, lazy

Favorites: Color: blue Food: lasagna Drink: lemonade

Music: soft rock (but never listens to it; prefers listening to baseball on the radio)

Literature: Hardy Boys, Choose-your-own-adventure, Jules Verne, classics

Movies: Star Wars, Indiana Jones

Clothing: casual (T-shirt, jeans, shorts, tennis shoes, baseball cap)

Hobbies/Interests: collects sports cards (especially baseball), Star Wars action figures, GI Joe comic books; reading; likes to watch baseball & football (Dodgers, Broncos, Angels ('86), BYU, Lakers – only to rival Devin's Jazz); hiking and camping; games (Risk, Monopoly, etc.); amusements parks; U.S. History; notices girls (but in secret)

Education: Will attend Prospector Jr. High; plays trumpet in Jazz band; 3.4 GPA

Religion: LDS

Financial status: does yard work for money (but only because his dad makes him)

Politics: Republican (uninterested)

Father: Darrell career: History teacher (Northland Jr. High) birthday: 5/19/40 car: “golden” (“puke yellow”) Mercury - “The Banana Boat”

Mother: Doris career: homemaker (HS home economics teacher) birthday: 6/28/43 car: blue Dodge van with white stripe - “The Bus”

Siblings: Lindsey (10/5/73), Jared (2/29/76), Christina (8/30/80)

Pets: Peter; used to have dog (Firefly), but the family got rid of it because it bite kids

Home life: pleasant, with occasional arguments; shares room with Jared

Friends: Trey & Devin (cousins); Larry Gibson (friend from church); Rodrigo Hernandez (neighbor friend who is younger)

Favorite possessions: entire Star Wars action figure collection

Car: no

Greatest accomplishment: winning city soccer championship with friends Larry & Rodrigo

Greatest regret: near drowning incident

Short term goals: wants to solve mysteries like the Hardy Boys

Long term goals: always changes: detective, amusement park designer, pro baseball player, author,...

Fears: water (particularly when he can't touch bottom), dogs, bullies

Worst problem: being teased about his weight, fear of water

Secrets: confidential for now

Philosophy: Choose the right

How changing: Always avoids bullies, but starts to follow Devin's lead

Influenced by (Heroes): family and friends – particularly Devin & Trey, and his parents; fears; public heroes (Steve Young, Jon Keyworth, Steve Garvey, George Lucas, Howard W. Hunter, Spencer W. Kimball)

What does this character want more than anything and why? Brady wants to overcome his fears so that he won't be teased anymore.

If you were meeting this character for the first time, what would strike you most about him/her? His bright blond hair. He actually wouldn't stand out because he is reserved around people he doesn't know well.

Why will the reader care about this character? He has good intentions, and they'll want him to succeed.

Why is this character in the story? He is one of the three main protagonists.

Write a diary entry for this character (entry into the novel): We're going to an Allred Family Reunion, and I can't wait. Devin, Trey, and I are going to make the greatest fort in the world, and have a blast playing horseshoes, and games, and writing in our DTB book. Who knows, maybe we'll even find a mystery to solve. After the reunion we are hiking the Virgin Narrows. It should be fun. I just wish we didn't have to hike through the river cause we'll get all wet. Anyway, my dad will be there, and he's done the hike before, so we should be fine.

Character profiles

     Several people have asked me how I created the characters for my book. For me, it is easier to visualize my characters if I associate them with someone I know. Having said that, I'd like to reiterate what I said in the author's note of The Narrows Escape. The characters in my books are fictional. Their actions, thoughts, and characteristics should not be assigned to any particular person. Although the characters were originally created with a live person (or multiple people in some cases) in mind, they have each developed a "life" of their own - particularly since the events portrayed in my books are fictional. Therefore, the characters, actions, thoughts, and characteristics are fictional as well. To make sure that my characters became their own seperate entities, I changed the names of the characters and made sure that none of the family units in the story had the same number of family members in what would be the family's "real life counterpart."
     So how did I create the characters? While attending a university class on creative writing, I received a copy of a character profile diagram for primary characters and secondary characters. I had already written a complete draft of my book, so it was relatively easy to fill out the profiles for each of my characters. The main benefit of the profiles was that they helped me solidify some of the differences between the character and their original counterparts. Basically, I took some of the characteristics of their "real life counterpart," then embellished or exaggerated them so as to differentiate them more from the other characters. I also invented some characteristics purely from my own imagination in order to create conflict and subplots. This was necessary because a story about nearly perfect people would be rather boring. And although I have many flaws, some of my relatives are among the greatest examples of human beings that I know.
     To illustrate my points, I have decided to post the character profile I created for Brady Allred. Anyone who knows me will immediately notice many similarities between this character and myself - such as the physical descriptions. They will also notice some characteristics that have been exaggerated - such as always wearing a baseball cap. Although I often wear baseball caps, I rarely do indoors. Yet by using that as a characteristic, it makes it easier for the reader to picture Brady in his/her mind. Finally, I invented a fear that doesn't exist in real life - Brady's fear of water. Since fear is powerful in creating conflict, I wanted one of my characters to have a fear of water in order to add a subplot to my story. After evaluating the characters, I chose Brady as the most likely candidate.
     My secondary characters have similar profile outlines, but much less detailed. After finalizing my final draft of The Narrows Escape, it was necessary to go back and adjust some of the information in my profiles to account for new subplots, but for the most part, the profiles have remained constant. And now that the first book is published, many of these characteristics are now set in stone - or at least in print.
     For anyone interested in writing, feel free to use the character profile outline I will include as a guide.
     Brad Allred