Goodreads

A friend of mine set up a page for The Narrows Escape on Goodreads. If you liked the book, and would like to review it, go to the following link:
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17255280-the-narrows-escape

You can also put a review on this site's "Review" page. Since I have to do all of my own advertising, I rely a lot on word of mouth. I'd also be interested in hearing other ways to advertise to a wider audience. Thank you for your interest, support and ideas!
Brad

Moving Day

The mudslide that forced Devin's family to move out of their house was added several years into the project. Originally, Devin's family decided to move so that they could be closer to family. Therefore, in the early versions of The Narrows Escape, there was a "moving scene" in which the family packed up their stuff and left. The purpose of the scene was to help the reader feel the conflicting emotions Devin felt about moving to California. On the one hand, he was moving closer to his cousins. On the other, he was leaving behind his best friend, Kevin. Although the move isn't a key plot line in The Narrows Escape, it is one of the main themes in the second book - currently entitled "Drake's Treasure." Here is the deleted scene:

Devin said “good-bye” to the friends who came to see them off. Then he climbed into the passenger seat of their jam-packed, maroon station wagon. His mom was driving, and his sisters were bunched up in the middle seat. The back seat was down so that they could cram more things into the car. Dad and Shane were driving the camper, which was stuffed as full as a Thanksgiving turkey. Even then, they had to rent a small trailer, which hooked onto the back of the truck, to help transport all their “necessities.”

“I don’t know how the pioneers did it,” said Mom after she and Dad finally managed to slam shut the back door of the station wagon.

“They didn’t bring dollhouses,” Devin said, glancing back at his sisters.

“Or Star Wars stuff,” retorted Kendal, even though the dollhouse in question belonged to her younger sisters.

“At least Star Wars stuff is cool,” Devin retorted defensively. Ever since Return of the Jedi came out the previous month, he and Kevin had gone on a collecting binge. Although the figures didn’t take up a lot of room, his dad had also made a comment about how they might have to rent another whole truck for Devin’s Star Wars stuff alone. Devin knew he was kidding, but he didn’t appreciate Kendal giving him a hard time about it too.

Devin’s mom shifted the car into drive and pulled away from the curb. Devin quickly rolled down his window and waved “goodbye” to his friends as the car slowly picked up speed.

“Don’t forget to write!” called out Kevin.

“I won’t!” Devin yelled back. He wondered if Trey and Brady would mind if he and Kevin borrowed one of their old DTB codes to write letters in. He knew Trey wouldn’t care, but Brady could be a bit paranoid about such things. But only if he finds out, realized Devin. He decided that what Brady didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt him.

As they turned the corner, he felt an emptiness fill his chest. Although he had known for several weeks now that they were leaving, it hadn’t really sunk in until now. Suddenly he felt the gloom wrap around him as he thought about how much he was going to miss his friends, his house, his home.

Minutes dragged into hours as Devin successfully parried his mother’s attempts at conversation so that he could sulk in peace. It wasn’t until they reached St. George that his mind began entertaining thoughts of sunny California, and how much fun he and his cousins were going to have. Slowly at first, the gloom faded away, and was replaced with the excitement of beginning a new life, in a new house, in the state he had always dreamed of living in “when he was older.”

By the time they reached the California border, he could almost taste the excitement that swirled around the car, coloring every aspect of their conversation. He even joined his sisters in a cheer as they passed the large sign welcoming them into their new state.

Car Trouble

As a follow up to my last post, I decided to add another clip from the road trip to the reunion. I tried to add some drama to the trip by creating car trouble to Uncle Marvin's famous yellow camper. Since I have actually experienced that truck breaking down on the way to a reunion, it wasn't too hard to recreate. The clip is a combination of that experience, and another when my parents' van broke down and we had to cram into the cab of a tow truck for the 20 minute drive into Beaver, Utah. Here is the clip:

After filling up in Mesquite, Mom guided the old yellow camper back onto the freeway. The “yellow beast” – as Trey and his sisters referred to it - rumbled along slowly, but started picking up speed as they merged into traffic. They had bought it used, and every year it seemed to slow down a little bit more, or take a little longer to reach freeway speeds. But eventually the cars streaming past slowed to a trickle as they reached maximum velocity.

Trey was already immersed in his book again when he noticed that something didn’t smell right. He sniffed the air, and noted the burning scent growing stronger. Instantly he looked at the temperature gauge and noticed that it was in the red. At the same time he noticed steam streaming out from under the hood.

“Uh, Mom!” he exclaimed, pointing.

“Whoa! What’s going on!” yelled Mom, at almost the same instant.

“We’re overheating!” yelled Trey, even though Mom was sure to have picked up on that fact already.

In response, Mom started slowing down and pulling off the road. They hadn’t made it all the way to the side when Trey was startled by someone rapping on the window behind him.

“Why are you pulling over?” Dad asked as Trey pulled the window open.

“We’re overheating!” Trey repeated.

Dad disappeared toward the back of the camper and Trey shut the window. As soon as the camper ground to a halt, he jumped out of the cab and headed around to the hood. Dad joined him seconds later as Mom popped the hood.

Dad lifted it up and steam poured out, forcing Trey to take a step back. Boiling radiator fluid spewed out of the radiator, and hissed into steam as it landed on hot engine parts.

Trey heard the back door of the camper bang open, and Trey’s sisters jumped out. “What’s wrong?” Amber asked.

“Mom busted the radiator,” grumbled Trey.

Dad scowled at the radiator, confirming Trey’s worst fears. When he leaned forward for a closer look, Trey followed suit. He had no idea what he was doing, but since he was a guy, he felt like he should be doing something to help. He changed his mind after getting tagged by a hot splash of radiator fluid.

“This stinks!” he muttered to no one in particular.

“Yeah, no kidding,” responded Liz. “I didn’t know radiator fluid smelled so bad.”

“I was talking about the situation,” Trey clarified.

After examining the engine and radiator for ten minutes or so, Dad finally admitted that he had no idea how to fix it. He turned to Trey and said, pointing back down the highway, “Will you run back with me to that call box back there so we can call a tow truck?”

Trey shaded his eyes and looked to where his father was pointing. In the distance, next to the shimmering road, he spotted the small box on a pole about a quarter of a mile back. He didn’t really feel like “running” anywhere in this heat, but at least it was something productive to do to improve their situation.

As they trotted back along the highway, he was already envisioning the likely effects of this tragedy. They’d have to be towed back to Mesquite, only to find out that the repair shops had already closed for the day. Then they’d waste away the next day in some grimy motel room, waiting for the vehicle to be fixed, while Devin, Brady, and the others were enjoying the reunion.

Even if they did catch the tail end of the reunion, the repairs would probably cost so much that, instead of going on the hike, Dad would feel obligated to head home and get a part time job for the summer until school started back up in the fall. In any case, there was no way that Dad was going to trust the camper on the remote roads of southern Utah.

Trey groaned as these thoughts drove themselves home. His adventure was going up in smoke before it even started.

##

“What’s taking them so long?” asked Amber. It had been an hour since Trey and Dad had returned from calling for a tow truck, yet there was still no sign of one. The longer they waited, the more depressed Trey became. Each wasted minute lessened the likelihood that they would get the camper fixed in time to enjoy the reunion.

“Did you tell them the right place?” asked Mom.

“I told them I-15 in Arizona,” said Dad. “It’s not very long. We shouldn’t be very hard to find.”

“We’re not in Arizona!” exclaimed Liz.

“Yes we are,” Dad informed her. “The highway crosses the northwest corner of the state before entering Utah.”

“You don’t think they contacted some place in Flagstaff do you?” asked Mom. “Cause if they did, we’ll be waiting here a long time.”

“Hmm,” said Dad, thinking it over. “Maybe you’re right. We better go call again, just to make sure.”

“I’ll go with you this time,” offered Amber.

Trey couldn’t believe it. This was turning into a nightmare! Except it was during the day – a very hot day.

“Let’s play Dutch Blitz!” suggested Liz.

“All right,” Trey agreed. It was a way to pass the time, but Trey wasn’t really into it. He kept thinking about all the fun his cousins were having without him. It just wasn’t fair.

Sure enough, the operator had contacted a towing company from Flagstaff. This time Dad told them to send someone from Nevada.

About half an hour passed since Dad and Amber returned before Mom started getting worried again. “Shouldn’t that truck be here by now?” she asked.

“If it was coming from Mesquite it should have,” agreed Dad. “But I suppose they could be sending someone from Vegas. Of course, that would mean another hour’s wait before they even get here.”

“I don’t want to get towed all the way back to Las Vegas,” said Mom. “Why didn’t you just have them send one from St. George? Especially since we’re going that way anyway.”

“I guess I didn’t think about it,” admitted Dad sheepishly.

After another brief discussion, Dad headed back toward the call box once again. Rather than keep losing to his sisters at cards, Trey offered to go with them. It had already been a very long day. Their problems were just making it seem even longer.

##

When the tow truck finally showed, from St. George, Trey breathed a big sigh of relief. He was still worried about getting the camper repaired so that they could attend the reunion; but the fact that they were pushing on to Utah, instead of retreating to Nevada, seemed to be a good omen.

But the feeling of relief and anticipation was brief. “There’s five of you?” asked the truck driver after introducing himself.

“Yeah,” answered Dad.

“How were you planning on getting to Saint George?” asked the driver.

“I hadn’t thought about it,” admitted Dad, his brow creased with concern. “Can’t we ride in the camper?”

The driver was shaking his head before Dad finished the question. “It’s against regulations for you to ride in a towed vehicle. Don’t you know anyone in St. George you can call to pick you up?”

“No.”

After discussing the options, the cab driver finally said, “Well, I really shouldn’t do this, but I suppose we can all try to cram inside the cab of my truck.”

Since they didn’t want to be stranded at the side of the road, the rest of the family grudgingly agreed. Because Trey and Liz were the smallest, it was decided that they’d sit on their parents’ laps. Trey didn’t like that idea at all, especially when they climbed in and realized what a tight fit it was.

“I hope nobody’s claustrophobic,” cracked the driver as he climbed into his seat. “Is everyone buckled in?”

Dad wrapped his arms tightly around Trey’s waist making him even more uncomfortable than before. Trey would have grumbled more about the whole thing, except he knew that his parents had it even worse off than he did.

Usually Trey enjoyed the winding ride through the gorge; but this time he didn’t enjoy a single second of it. With each twist and curve, Trey’s stomach did its own flips and turns. He was sure he was going to lose his lunch. Worse, he worried that someone else might lose his or her lunch instead. With everyone squished together, it wouldn’t be a pretty sight – or smell.

To make matters worse, Trey’s leg was getting a cramp, and he had no room to stretch it. He shifted in his “seat” in an effort to alleviate the pain, and succeeded in inducing a groan from Dad.

“You need to go on a diet,” complained Dad. “My legs are falling asleep.”

“Just be glad it’s me instead of Amber,” replied Trey.

“Hey watch it!” exclaimed Amber as she reached over to whack him on the stomach. In the crowded cab, she missed and got Liz instead.

“Hey, I didn’t say anything!” complained Liz.

Everyone seemed to be on edge, which made the trip seem even longer than it really was. In fact, it was definitely the longest forty minutes of Trey’s life.

According to Dad’s watch, they finally arrived at St. George a few minutes after 7:00. There was no way any repair garage would still be open now. Trey sighed, and resigned himself to the fact that they'd be sleeping in a motel that night. With any luck, they’d get the camper fixed tomorrow, and make it to part of the reunion. But he doubted it. This trip was officially a disaster.

The tow truck took them directly to a repair shop. As expected, all the lights in the service garage were off.

“Well, I guess that’s that,” grumbled Trey.

“What do you mean?” asked Amber, who was squished between Mom and the cab driver.

“Can’t you see? We’re stuck here overnight,” he explained bitterly. He looked at the run-down garage and added, “More if they can’t get it fixed.”

“Actually, we’re hoping to get it fixed tonight so you can be on your way,” the cab driver replied.

“You’re going to fix it?” asked Trey in surprise.

“It’s my shop,” the driver explained. “Usually I’m closed at this time, but your dad offered to pay me overtime if I stayed open.”

Suddenly Trey felt extremely guilty for all the disparaging remarks he’d made about the old camper in his parents’ presence. This had to be just as hard on them as it was for him – if not harder. Yet they were doing their best to make the most out of a rotten situation. He decided to do the same.

Road trip

My entire family came up to visit us last week, and returned home yesterday. Since they had to make the 10+ hour drive between Utah and California, a drive I've made dozens of times, I recalled the many creative ways we came up with to pass the time back in the days before we had DVD players in cars, or mobile devices on which to play computer games. Instead we often came up with games to pass the time. In my original draft of The Narrows Escape, I had a chapter dedicated to the familiar drive from California to Utah. Later, when I took a creative writing class at UCR, I learned that travel chapters are one of the things authors should avoid unless it is critical to story development; so I took it out. I share it part of it with the hopes that it will bring back fond (or not so fond) memories for those who remember "the good old days."
  

"Let's play the Christmas light game!" shouted Olivia, interrupting their conversation.

"In July?" asked Devin. "Nobody has Christmas lights up in the summer!"

"The Roberts do," Emily retorted.

“And the Garcias do too!” added Olivia.

Both twins were staring down at them with their blue, almond shaped eyes. Their long blond hair was tied into matching pigtails and, like usual, they were dressed exactly the same. They looked so much alike, the only way Devin could tell for sure which was which was by noting the large freckle under Emily’s left ear. Right now they looked pleased at having proven Devin wrong.

"True," observed Shane. "But I doubt we'll see any here; especially since we’re driving through the desert. Any other ideas?"

They decided to pass the time by telling their whole repertoire of jokes.

Shane had always been the best joke teller in the family. It wasn’t just the jokes that were funny; it was the way he told them. Shane could have a whole group rolling on the ground at one of his jokes; yet if Devin repeated the same joke word for word at a different gathering, he could only get their eyes to roll – or maybe a polite chuckle or two. But he’d heard a joke at baseball practice a couple of months ago that he’d been saving for an occasion such as this.

"There was a law firm that went broke," Devin began. "They decided to divide up all their assets. One of the lawyers got the company car, another got the nice oak desk, and the third got all the filing cabinets. Since they couldn't agree who would take possession of the building, which was bought and paid for, they decided to tear it down and divide up the materials: one person got the window panes, another got a pile of bricks, etc. Finally everything was divided up when they realized that there was one brick left. Each felt he should get it. Since they couldn't agree, they took the case to small claims court. Each lawyer presented his own case about who should receive the brick. After hearing all the arguments, the judge decided that they should have a contest to determine who should get it. Whoever could throw the brick the highest would get it. The first lawyer threw it about ten feet in the air. The second one reached close to fifteen feet. The third lawyer threw it so high, that they lost sight of it...and they haven't seen it since."

After a long pause, Trey asked, "So what happened to it?"

"That's the joke, it never came down. Nobody got to keep it."

"That's dumb." announced Shane. "I vote that Devin be banned from telling jokes for the rest of the trip. Even Trey’s knock-knock jokes are better than that.”

Encouraged, Trey began another one. “Knock, knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Kerch."

"Kerch who?"

"Bless you!"

After a few knock-knock jokes, Devin gleefully announced that he had another joke. Shane groaned loudly and rolled his eyes, but Devin pressed on anyway, insisting that this one was much better.

"It better be," Shane declared, "or you're walking the rest of the way."

"Okay," Devin began, "There was a lawyer named Tom who took a plane from LA to San Francisco..."

"Not another lawyer joke!" interrupted Trey. “Next!”

"Hold on! This one is a good one,” Devin insisted. "Anyway, he gets this seat next to a large man puffing on a cigar."

"Everyone knows you can't smoke in planes," Shane protested.

"Evidently you could back then," Devin retorted. "Anyway, Tom was allergic to cigar smoke and began coughing uncontrollably. Finally he grabbed a barf bag from the back of the seat in front of him and tossed his cookies."

"Sick!" exclaimed Trey.

"Why would he do that?" asked Olivia from her place in the loft. His sisters had been so quiet, that Devin had forgotten they were up there.

"He threw up," Devin explained. She still looked confused, but he decided to go on anyway. His whole reputation as a joke teller hinged on getting to the punch line. "Anyway, the stewardess came up and asked if he was going to be okay. He shook his head and explained his dilemma. She asked the big guy to get rid of his cigar. He rolled down the window..."

"You can't roll down a window on a plane," Shane pointed out. He seemed bent on making sure Devin’s joke was a failure.

"It's just a joke!" Devin announced, exasperated. This wasn’t going as well as he’d hoped. "So anyway, he rolled down the window and threw out the cigar. A few minutes later, Tom looked out the window and saw a bird sitting on the wing of the plane. Guess what was in his mouth?"

"Duh, a cigar," guessed Trey.

"Nope...a brick!" Devin announced triumphantly.

Nobody laughed.

"I don't get it," declared Olivia. "That's almost as dumb as your last one."

"It's just the second half,” Devin explained, perturbed that he couldn’t even get a five-year old to laugh at his joke.

"I still think it's dumb," Olivia decided.

"I’ve got a better one than that," announced Emily, finally joining the conversation.

"Go ahead,” Shane encouraged his younger sister. "It has to be better than Devin's."

“Yeah right,” grumbled Devin. He knew Shane was egging him on, but he wasn’t going to take the bait. There was still a chance that his parents would ban him from the hike, so he tried to ignore the barb.

"Okay, who stole the pig?" Emily asked excitedly.

"A thief," guessed Trey.

"No."

"A butcher," suggested Shane.

"No."

"Shane," guessed Devin sulkily.

"No."

"The Pittsburgh Steelers," said Trey.

"No."

"How about the Pigsburgh Steelers?" asked Shane.

"Nope."

Ten minutes dragged on with the boys naming anyone they could possibly think of, especially family members, as the possible thief. To each of these inquiries, both Emily and Olivia gleefully shook their heads and said, "no."

Finally Shane exclaimed, "OK, Ems, you stumped us. Who stole it?"

"It ran away," she announced proudly. After an hour of fairly dumb jokes, that one stole the show; or at least ran away with it. Neither Shane nor Trey could stop laughing for at least five minutes. At first Devin felt dumb to be outdone by his kid sisters; but as he watched the girls beaming at their apparent wit, he couldn’t help but laugh too.

##

"In the meantime," Mom continued. "How about if we play a game to pass the time? Let's see how many different states we can find on license plates. I see California right in front of us."

"How can you tell?” asked Lindsey, peeking around her mom’s seat for a better view. “Oh, that's Uncle Marvin's camper."

"Hey, there's Nevada!" Amber called as a red sports car whizzed by. Since the boys had sequestered the camper, Amber and Liz had agreed to travel in the van with Lindsey, much to her delight. Her uncles, Arthur and Randy, were also hitching a ride in the back seat, next to Christina.

"What state is that red one?" Dad asked. He was driving and accelerated a little to try and get a better view.

"You just keep your eyes on the road," Mom admonished. "Let us worry about which states we see."

Lindsey’s mom wrote down the names of each state as they saw them. Every time a car would come into view, Lindsey would mechanically brush her long, light brown hair out of her face and crane her neck to read what the plate said. She tried her best to find new ones, but someone else, usually Amber, would invariably name them first. The list grew quickly at first, but slowed as duplicates continually popped up. In less than an hour, they had 18 - all of them west of the Mississippi River, except Florida.

##

Lindsey was getting discouraged. She found several new states at the rest stop, but it seemed like forever since their last one; at least half an hour. On the other hand, she had counted at least twenty California plates during that same time span.

"I need to go to the bathroom!" Christina called from the back seat.

"Didn't you go before we left?" Brady’s dad asked impatiently.

"Yeah, but that was a long time ago," she answered.

"Well, we just passed a rest stop, so you'll just have to wait for a while," Dad informed her.

"I'll try," Christina promised, but she was already wriggling around in her seat.

“Can’t you turn around at one of those roads,” asked Lindsey, pointing to one of the flat, street level byways connecting both directions of the interstate.

“I think those are just for emergencies,” Dad informed her.

“This is an emergency,” said Jared, who was sitting right next to her. He was scooting as far away as his seatbelt would allow.

“Then do something with her to help get her mind off it,” Dad suggested.

Jared though for a second, then belted out, "Ninety-nine bottles of pop on the wall..."

"Don't even think about it!" proclaimed Dad. “Unless you want to walk the rest of the way.

"Why don't we play the alphabet game?” suggested Brady. It was obvious he wasn’t going to get much reading done with all the distractions. “I don't think we've passed Zzyzx road yet."

"Hey, good idea,” said Jared. "There’s an 'A'."

“I want to play too,” said Christina.

“Okay,” said Brady, already searching for a “B.”

“How do you play?” she asked.

“Count the letters that you see to yourself until you’ve got them all,” Brady instructed.

“What comes first?” she asked.

“An ‘A,’” he said, mechanically, craning his neck to see the license plate of a passing car.

“What comes after ‘A’?” asked Christina, a minute later.

“B,” said Brady, who was already looking for a “G.”

“Hey, just like the alphabet song!”

“Exactly like the alphabet song,” agreed Brady.

“What’s a ‘B’ look like?” she asked.

“It’s the first letter in my name, remember?” he responded. But he could already tell that this probably wasn’t one of his best ideas.

“The line with two circles?” asked Christina.

“That’s the one,” Brady replied.

“Z, I win!” announced Lindsey, pulling her nose out of her book.

“How you get it so fast?” asked Jared.

She held up her book and said, “They’re all in here.”

"That’s not fair!" Jared protested. “You’re only allowed to use letters outside the car!”

“I was just teasing you,” Lindsey said smiling.

“What’s a ‘D’ look like?” asked Christina a minute later.