Monday, October 8, 2012

Obstacle Course

 As I was preparing by final version of The Narrows Escape before publication, I had a colleague at work (an English teacher) read through it to help me catch any typos. One of his suggestions was to cut down the reunion section a bit and get to the hike faster. After reading through it again, I decided to cut one of my favorite scenes - the Obstacle Course. Although it is humorous, and loosely based on actual events, it really did little to further the plot. And although it helped with character development, it really was superfluous development. In reality, it could only be fully appreciated by someone associated with one of my favorite people in the world - my Aunt Sally. In any case, it was the last cut. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Hear ye! Hear ye! The obstacle course is now open!” announced Shane, once they’d heard Trey’s update.
Devin looked over at Trey, who frowned at his ankle. Trey wouldn’t be able to participate, but Devin hoped he wouldn’t hold it against him and Brady if they did. Usually they did everything together, but he didn’t want Trey’s injury to ruin the reunion for the rest of them.
You guys go ahead. I’ll just sit and watch,” suggested Trey.
Are you sure?” asked Brady hesitantly.
Yeah, I need to rest it anyway,” said Trey.
Devin breathed a sigh of relief, and hurried with Brady to join the others who were lining up to try out the challenging course. But before anyone was allowed to run it, Uncle Darrell insisted on checking it for safety.
My dad and I already tested it,” asserted Shane.
Well, we need to be one hundred percent certain that it’s safe,” announced Uncle Darrell. He looked at Trey and added, “We don’t need any more injuries.”
It’s also a good excuse to cut to the front of the line,” added Uncle Rob with a wink. “I better help ‘check it out’ too.”
After giving their stamp of approval, Uncle Darrell got out his stopwatch, and began timing the participants as they ran through the course. Aunt Doris, Brady’s mom, stood nearby shouting words of encouragement to each and every participant, and then recording their scores on a notepad. The top three winners in each category – child, youth, and adult – would receive awards at the end of the reunion.
After stretching out his muscles and joints, Devin squatted behind the starting line and prepared for his run. When Uncle Darrell yelled "GO!" he sprinted twenty yards and leaped through a hula-hoop hanging a couple of feet off the ground. Next, he climbed up a rope ladder to a suspended platform, six feet high, and swung down to the ground using another rope. He hurtled the water pit, hopped up onto the balancing beam, and walked across. He then rolled under a broomstick two feet off the ground, hopped through five spare tires, and made the fifteen-yard dash for the finish line.
"One minute, twenty-nine point one seconds!" called out Uncle Darrell.
"What place is that?" he gasped, gulping in oxygen.
"First so far," said Aunt Doris.
All right!” he exclaimed, pumping his fists.
Brady went next, but didn’t even come close to matching Devin’s score after losing precious seconds by falling off the balancing beam.
Then it was Shane’s turn. He ran hard the whole way, and with his longer legs Devin was sure he’d take the lead. But Shane slipped when swinging off the raised platform - and Devin’s heart beat a little faster. Maybe he could win after all!
Shane quickly jumped back to his feet and raced to the finish line without losing much time at all. Once again doubt crept back into Devin’s mind.
What time?” asked Devin and Shane simultaneously.
"One minute, twenty-eight point nine seconds."
The time mockingly reverberated in Devin's ears. He spat and kicked the ground in frustration. Point two seconds! Shane beat him by two measly tenths of a second. “Can we go again?” he asked after stewing for a few moments.
Sure,” said Uncle Darrell. “Go as often as you like.”
Devin hurried back to the end of the line. He was going to beat Shane’s time if it took him the rest of the reunion.
Unfortunately, his time kept climbing higher. The harder he pushed himself, the more mistakes he made, and the worse he did.
"Mom, are you going to try it?" inquired Trey hopefully.
"I might," Aunt Sandy hedged as she eyed the course warily. She had short, straight dark hair – styled in a bob-cut. Only Trey had inherited her naturally tan skin, to the envy of his sisters (who were almost as white as the rest of the Allreds). At five feet eleven, she was easily the tallest of the aunts.
"Come on Aunt Sandy, you can do it!" urged Shane.
"I'll go if you do," suggested Devin’s mom, Jen, to her sister-in-law.
As Aunt Sandy considered the proposal, Uncle Marvin stepped in, “You know, that might not be such a good idea. You remember what happened the last time you tried to run one of these things don’t you?”
"You think I’m going to break my arm again?" she asked.
Well, you never know,” he said uncomfortably.
Aunt Sandy had a natural cheery disposition, but she did have one shortcoming. She could be clumsy at times. She was also determined to prove her husband wrong.
I’ll do it,” Aunt Sandy said. She turned to Devin’s mom and added, “As long as you go first.”
"Okay," Devin’s mom agreed. She had curly, brown hair and green eyes. She was bubbly and spry, and had a smile that could light up a room all by itself. She got set and, on Uncle Darrell’s mark, set off on a trip through the course while all the kids cheered her on. She did great, beating her husband’s score by almost two seconds.
When Uncle Randy tried to razz him about it, Devin’s dad pointed out that she’d beaten his score too. “Point taken,” replied Randy rather humbly.
After his mom finished, Aunt Sandy got set.
Are you ready?” asked Uncle Darrell.
As ready as I’ll ever be,” she said, sounding a little nervous.
You can do it, Aunt Sandy!” shouted several cousins.
Go!” shouted Uncle Darrell.
She ran hard to the hula-hoop, then came to a complete halt and carefully stepped through. Then she headed to the rope ladder. She slowly climbed it, making sure of each step before proceeding to the next. But once up, she looked like she wanted to get right back down.
Devin knew that Aunt Sandy had an extreme fear of heights – even relatively short ones like this. A nervous scowl replaced the double-dimpled smile that usually graced her face; but there was also a look of determination.
She sat down on the edge of the platform, and used the rope to help her make the short jump down. When she hit the ground, she collapsed in a small heap. Devin held his breath and saw Uncle Marvin take a few steps forward, but Aunt Sandy got right back up again and plodded on.
She sloshed through the water pit and straddled the balance beam. Rather than walk across it, she wisely decided to scoot. Once down, she hurried over to the low bar, and slowly crawled under it.
When she climbed to her feet, she rushed over to the tires, and cautiously hopped through them – first one, then another. The cheers rose as she passed each tire. As she reached the last tire, and looked up to assess the final fifteen yards, the cheers reached a crescendo as everyone heartily congratulated her on her feat.
As she raised her foot from the last tire, it caught on the rim. The cheers vanished into a collective gasp as she toppled forward. She landed hard on both arms, shrieked, and writhed in pain, clutching her arms to her chest.
"Are you okay?" yelled several family members as they quickly formed a circle around Aunt Sandy. Devin, who had been waiting patiently for yet another shot at Shane’s mark, was one of the first to reach her.
"No!" she wailed. "I'm not okay!"
"Get the first aid kit!" Uncle Marvin ordered. He then implored her to lie still so that he could examine her arms. She lay in a fetal position and initially resisted his pleas.
It’s going to hurt,” she complained.
Maybe, but it’ll be worse if we don’t take care of it,” her husband explained.
After some coaxing, she finally uncurled herself, taking care not to move her arms. Uncle Marvin gingerly touched her swelling left arm and she shrieked in response. She rolled away from him again before allowing him another look. He touched her right arm this time, with the same result.
"I think they’re both broken," he announced.
"I could have told you that!" she retorted.
As soon as Amber returned with the first aid kit, Uncle Marvin and Uncle Darrell bound up her arms with makeshift splints. When the splints were in place, the two men helped her into the van for yet another trip to Cedar City.
As Uncle Marvin drove away, ten different conversations broke out – all about Aunt Sandy. Devin listened for a couple minutes, but was anxious to run the course again. Shane had shaved another two seconds off his time, but Devin was still determined to beat it.
Are you ready for the next contestant?” he asked Uncle Darrell. His uncle looked at him as if he’d asked for a thousand dollars.
There aren’t going to be any more contestants!” Aunt Doris announced. “One accident’s enough! We need to tear it down right now before anyone else gets hurt.”
But Mom!” griped Brady. “It’s fun!”
How can you even consider running it again after what happened to your aunt?”
That was an accident,” stated Brady. “We’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
That’s right. And we’ll make sure of it by taking it down. Right Darrell?”
I suppose,” he agreed reluctantly. “Come on guys; let’s take care of it right now, before one of the little kids gets hurt.”
Devin was steamed. His chance to beat Shane was gone, just like that. Shane probably planned it this way, he silently accused. He’s the one who encouraged her to run it.
He glanced over and saw Trey sitting morosely on a boulder and suddenly felt guilty for his attitude. “I’m sure she’ll be okay,” Devin assured him.
It’s my fault,” muttered Trey, heaving a great sigh. “I shouldn’t have suggested that she try it.”
You can’t blame yourself,” Devin argued. “We all encouraged her.”
Yeah, but now she’s got two broken arms. As soon as she gets out of the hospital, we’ll be going home for sure.”
Devin hadn’t thought about that. It was bad enough that Trey couldn’t participate in most of the activities; but if Trey’s family went home, Uncle Darrell would probably cancel the Narrows trip. This reunion was just going from bad to worse.

1 comment: