Brady's fear

When trying to come up with a personal struggle for each of the DTB cousins to work through during the course of the book, I decided that I wanted one of the cousins to overcome a fear. Since Brady was the youngest, and his mother was the "worry wart" among the aunts, I decided to have him struggle with overcoming his fears. Although I personally have never really struggled with any phobias, I have seen how debilitating a fear can be. Yet I also witnessed how fear could be overcome by courage. My grandmother struggled with clausterphobia throughout her life. In 1988, she was with us in New York when we went up the stairs of the Statue of Liberty. The stairway was cramped, and with so many people inside, once you were committed, there was no backing out. My grandma would have flipped out inside there under most circumstances; but because she had to help take care of her 15 grandkids, she was able to control her fear for the duration. During the Fourth of July chapter I've referenced over the last couple of posts, I also introduced Brady's fear of water. When I cut out the chapter, I transferred that introduction to the reunion. One part I couldn't transfer was the discussion on fear Brady had with his father when he was punished for his part in the firework fiasco. Here it is:

Just as he suspected would happen, Brady was grounded for a week. He didn’t care too much about that. What bothered him was seeing the disappointment in his parents’ faces.

“I just don’t understand why you’d do such a thing!” exclaimed his mom. “Didn’t you know how dangerous that was?”

“Yes, but I hate it when people think I’m a wimp!” declared Brady as he fought to hold back the tears that threatened to flow down his cheeks.

“There is nothing wimpy about choosing the right,” declared his dad. “In fact, it takes a lot more courage to stand up for the right than it does to go with the flow. Courage isn’t doing dangerous things in order to prove your bravery. True courage is doing what’s right no matter the cost.”

Brady thought about that. He usually didn’t cave into peer pressure. And if it had been anyone else trying to get him to go light fireworks, he would have refused no matter what they said. But these were his cousins - his best friends in the entire world! He couldn’t afford to have them think he was a wimp too. Otherwise, now that Devin was here, they might start doing things without him.

On the other hand, he couldn’t do anything with them anyway if he kept getting grounded. “I’m sorry,” he said contritely.

“Well good. I hope you learned something from all this,” said Mom.

“I did,” said Brady. He wanted to have true courage – the kind his dad had. He needed to overcome his fears – especially his fear of water.

##

Since he couldn’t do anything with his friends, Brady decided to use the time to do some extra reading. He was an avid reader, and enjoyed letting books transport him to other places and times. Unfortunately, he had already read all the books in his own personal collection and couldn’t go to the library to get any more. So he began going through the books in his dad’s office.

As he browsed what was available, he found a box of old Scouting magazines. Interested, he began thumbing through some of them. As he picked up a magazine from the stack, the words “Virgin Narrows” seemed to stand out like a neon light – especially since they were accompanied by the word “disaster.”

He quickly found the article and began reading. The further he read, the lower his jaw dropped. Butterflies began swarming his stomach as he read about the unlucky Scout troop that had been hit by a flash flood. Several had lost their lives in the ferocious waters. Several times, Brady set the magazine down as his nerves got the best of him - but morbid curiosity prodded him to keep picking it up again until he finished the article.

When he set the magazine down for the final time, Brady just sat there for minutes on end, worrying about whether the same thing could happen to them. If it happened to a troop of Scouts, why not us? Do I really want to go? What would Devin and Trey say if I backed out? Would they think I’m a wimp? Of course they would. Maybe I can fake an injury or something. But then I really would be a wimp!

Brady considered his options. What if I try to get everyone to go somewhere else instead? No, that won’t work. We’ve already been planning this thing for months. So what should I do?

There was no easy solution. On the one hand, he wanted to be courageous like his dad. But the idea of swimming across a water hole in the middle of a river, with a full pack on his back made him break out into a cold sweat. Knowing people had drowned on that very same hike only magnified the feeling. A small shiver ran down his spine and he began unconsciously chewing on his thumbnail wondering what to do. The problem plagued him the rest of the day and into the night.